Find your truth
I had an interesting conversation with a friend recently about a term called toxic positivity - the notion of presenting the most positive version of yourself to the world and how this could mean we are repressing our true feelings. As a yoga teacher and, in part, a solo marketer, I often think about what I am putting out into the world for my students and audience to see. It’s important for me to present a positive image, especially when it comes to my work in the menopause arena, but, truth be told, there are some days when my journey does feel overwhelming and unfair, or where I find I lack energy and drive. These days don’t make it into my social media posts, but should they? Would presenting all sides of my journey, even the ugly truths, make a more honest profile of who I am and how I operate?
“Satya, or truthfulness, is the second of Patanjali’s yamas - the set of ethical guidelines that invite us to engage in the world we live in with a meaningful and purposeful intention.”
Satya, or truthfulness, is the second of Patanjali’s yamas - the set of ethical guidelines that invite us to engage in the world we live in with a meaningful and purposeful intention. This is a guideline that asks us to present the most truthful version of ourselves and the events in our world to those around us. I suspect Satya would recoil in horror at the thought of toxic positivity! But, as with so much in life, it’s a complex area and there is no black and white. Whilst being truthful may seem like a simple concept - to lie, or not to lie - in the way we approach this yoga philosophy, we are talking about it in a more nuanced way.
In my last blog we explored Ahimsa - which roughly translates as compassion. The idea of truthfulness - which interweaves with the notion of integrity - has to come from a place of compassion, of Ahimsa. This is not a playground sense of right and wrong - if only it were so clear cut. Instead it’s a little like a searchlight that pokes into our grey areas and asks us to really understand ourselves in those moments in life where we need to consider how to put forward our most integrity laden foot, even when there may be consequences to bear.
“We don’t tell the truth because we are afraid it may hurt someone, and our need to be compassionate and spare someone’s feelings becomes a driving factor.”
When we can’t lean into the truth there is generally a good reason why. If we look back to the idea of compassion, it is often the root cause of a lie. We don’t tell the truth because we are afraid it may hurt someone, and our need to be compassionate and spare someone’s feelings becomes a driving factor. Or when we consider the version of ourselves we present to the world, it is a delicate balance between sharing our authentic voice and oversharing. I find that erring on the side of positive promotion puts something out into the world that offers inspiration or hope to my students. If I were too often sharing things I found draining or challenging, it may rub off on my students and influence their mood and mindset. But Ahimsa and Satya are not opposites, they are not an either or. We need to look at how they work together so we maintain our integrity and our truthfulness, and do so with compassion for how this message may land on the listener. We think we are being compassionate when we protect people from elements of the truth we have decided are too much for them to bear. Perhaps the greater compassion would come from trusting them with the truth no matter what.
“Difficult conversations about when something isn’t going right in our lives are hard to have. They expose us and put us into a position of vulnerability.”
The call for a truthful conversation to take place is a brave one, and it does require compassion to ensure the message lands well. Difficult conversations about when something isn’t going right in our lives are hard to have. They expose us and put us into a position of vulnerability. But to shy away from them, and not do the other person the honour of sharing our truth, that is a far worse outcome. To grin and bear it and act as if all is fine when something is going wrong means repressing our feelings and emotions, cutting people out of the core of our lives and not being truthful, potentially even to ourselves, about the depth and intensity of the feelings we are feeling in the present moment. Toxic positivity at its worst.
How does Satya translate on the mat?
We show up to our mats in many different ways. We may be rushing from work, or be thinking about our to-do list, running the grocery shop through our mind, or going over and over a conversation from work that is stuck on replay. Yoga invites us to put all of this to one side and have an open and honest time with ourselves in the present moment. I always start my classes inviting students to pop a pin in whatever they were doing before they arrived. Yoga is such a gift in that it weaves together body, mind and breath; inviting us to look inside ourselves as we explore our bodies, what their limitations are, where there are spaces to shift.
When we allow our mind to wander, or perhaps go on autopilot in our practice, we’re not allowing our bodies to express themselves truthfully. The same can be said of pushing ourselves into poses we think we need to be doing rather than allowing our bodies to tell us how far we can go in that moment.
One of my favourite yoga styles for exploring how I’m actually feeling, both physically and mentally, is yin yoga. It requires me to hold poses for longer and observe the sensations that arise. If I am absent minded in a yin practice and not listening to my body, I might not access the pose in the way that will benefit me the most. I know when I hit the magic spot as my mind frees up, my body feels softer and a little looser, and it physically feels as if I am dropping into the shape I’m holding in my body. The body plays back to me things I need to know: tightness in the hips from sitting too long at a desk; a knot in my hamstring from my run that week; tension in my shoulders from holding too much stress in that area. Facing these signs in my body through my practice can help me understand my body better; am I pushing myself too hard, or perhaps the opposite and not building enough movement into my day? Yin helps to reveal a truth that I may not take the time to observe in another way.
Yin also invites us to go deeper into our minds and uncover truths we may be holding there. When we are holding poses for longer it invites us to allow the body to just be, and allow the breath and mind to take our focus. Yin invites the mind to take a front seat. It may be observing the sensations arising in our bodies, repeating a mantra, or simply focusing on the ebb and flow of the breath. With everything else stripped away, when we drop into stillness and let the mind rest, the truth can softly surface. We might find that what arises, when everything else is quiet, can tell us something we may not hear when the rest of the world’s noise is blaring.
Interested in learning more about yin yoga? I’m currently running a beginner’s yin programme, ‘Let’s Begin Yin’ at The Yoga Studio, Devonport, starting Monday 13th February 2023. You can find out more here: https://bookinghawk.com/events-overview/the-yoga-studio/503
This month I’m reading… Shuggie Bain, by Douglas Stuart. I had this recommended to me by a friend who has similar tastes in books to me. It’s honest and brutal, and such a powerful read. Anyone who has struggled with attachments of any kind should read this portrayal of the impact of addiction on a family living in poverty.
This month I’m recommending… Normally I share something I’m listening to, but I was so wowed by the documentary ‘My Octopus Teacher’ on Netflix that I’m using this space to share that as a recommendation. Depicting what we can learn from nature, it was so moving and beautiful - grab your tissues as it had me in floods of tears!
